I started out this morning sitting out in the sunlight soaking up some rays. I have always been a lover of sunshine, so this was a very enjoyable experience to me. Now after two years of searching for this particular butterfly (AS TO WHY I WASN’T QUITE MYSELF) I believe I have finally found THE ANSWER.
It all began with a lot of emotions, I have been unable to completely understand myself. The last 4 years I have been struggling with high blood pressure, feeling of anxiousness, social anxiety, panic attacks, achy bones, and muscles. The list could go on for a while. I honestly thought I was going insane and dying in the process. I know what you are thinking, it sounds like hormones, or premenopausal and just the 40 syndrome(Mid life crises) what ever you want to refer to it as. I even thought I was changing into a hypochondriac! I too was ready to accept it as just an age thing for women. I can remember back at my 40th birthday party everyone telling me(mostly women) that 40 is when ever part of you body starts to hurt and falling apart. I wasn’t falling a part and I was going to refuse to let that happen. Guess what? It some how did.
I would wake up daily asking myself why I wasn’t happy and not feeling right. In my eyes everything was looking up for us. The years before my 40th were tough years but we were on upside of our struggle. Things were getting better, business was picking up, work was coming in, bills were getting paid, food was in the fridge and we were even able to take a vacation from it all. I had written my first book and I was doing everything I always dreamed of doing. But physically, my body kept telling me “You aren’t you any more.” I was fighting that idea daily and it truly was a struggle. I would have these strange episodes of dizziness. Not the kind from spinning around or getting up to fast, these episodes were different. I would be completely still and my eyes felt like they were rolling around in my head. It scared the daylights out of me. Come to find out it really was scaring the “daylights” out of me. I was starting to feel like I was falling farther into a depression of some sort. I was petrified to go anywhere! Again I was going to fight this because this person was not ME!
So my first step was to try to get my blood pressure under control. I first started out with a holistic approach. The right foods and exercise. My energy levels were extremely low so this was a difficult challenge. At that time I did what I was able too. Caffeine was my best friend!(Which isn’t good for the blood pressure or a holistic approach) Diet Mountain Dew was my drink of choice. I was drinking up to 6 12 Fl Oz a day, just to function through my day. Mind you, I was staying close to home because I was have these social anxiety problems. You would think with that much sugar and caffeine I would have a ridiculously clean house and be ready to take over the world. Some days yes, but majority of the days, I struggled with the basics. I started researching effects of diet cola’s on the body particularly Diet Mountain Dew. That was when I decided to quite my Diet Mountain Dew addiction. I had all of the symptoms of aspartame poisoning. Heck I had been drinking Diet Cola since I was 14 years old. That is 30 years of poisoning. Quitting drinking Diet drinks with aspartame helped but it wasn’t fixing my problems ( it was only part of my problem.) I advise anyone that drink diet drinks to stop or at least try to drink very little amounts because it can really do damage to your body. Check out the link below.
This was only the beginning of my chase…
TO BE CONTINUED