Chasing a personal Butterfly-PART THREE-Submit to depression?

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Sunshine on my shoulders looks so lovely…I am back and you guessed it! I’m out in the sun again soaking up sunshine. I will tell you this, TODAY I feel fabulous! That wasn’t always the case. After I went through a detoxify from the aspartame poisoning and slowly trying to regulate my blood pressure holistically, I finally surrendered and went to our local urgent care for blood pressure medicine. (I hate taking pills) I then was put on a low dose of medicine. (later I learned it was an adrenaline blocker. That was when my mental state plummeted. Not only was I extremely tired, but I was sad. Nothing was sparking my interest. I would have, maybe two hours, to get something accomplished before my fatigue would set in. Each day was worse than the next. I was isolating myself from everyone, everything and wanted to nothing but sleep. A simple walk across the room was like running a marathon. My legs were weak and my bones ached. Although these symptoms had no doubt improved after I stopped drinking the diet drinks-they were back and in full force.

I returned to the doctor and explained EVERY feeling I was having. I even said “I think something is wrong with my brain!” I could not stay focused. There also was a few times I miss spell my own name! I would forget simple things. (Like the fact that I was cooking dinner!) Yes I went from being a pretty darn good cook to burning EVERYTHING! I detached from everyone, even my husband and children. Who ever this person was…was not me!!!

That is when the testing began. I was referred to heart specialist. (Same specialist that was watching my heart murmur over the years). I had blood work done and started a new blood pressure medicine. (Two pills now) Both doctors suggested anti-depressants. (REALLY? I’M NOT DEPRESSED! I JUST DON’T FEEL GOOD! IF I FELT GOOD I WOULDN’T appear to BE DEPRESSED!) I denied the tought taking ANTI-DEPRESSANT! I was becoming frustrated. Between being told I was depressed, it was pre-menopause, signs of thyroid and sign of low blood sugar, I wanted to give up. (On everything! I wasn’t suicidal but had no hope left. I would never feel like my old self again.) I will admit the days I drank my lemon water or apple cider were the better days, but getting up the drive to do it was my problem.

Now during this time period I was in the edit process of book three. So worry and panic infiltrated my days at times on top of being tired.  The bags under my eyes were becoming apparent to everyone. There wasn’t a day that went by that someone didn’t say to me “You look tired.” – REALLY? I WAS TIRED!! That is when I started listening to self-hypnosis CD’s. Mentally, this was helping me. The CD’s were helping me find… that the me I knew, was still there. She was waiting for the sun to come out so she could play… But I was starting to  submit to depression as the culprit… I started researching Foods for moods. There is a lot of great info out there. Here are a few…

http://altmedicine.about.com/od/popularhealthdiets/a/moodfood.htm

http://www.webmd.com/food-recipes/food-to-balance-your-mood

https://www.caring.com/articles/best-foods-for-mood

What I was learning was helping. That is when I knew… I wasn’t going insane, and it was something physical and not mental. The chasing was almost over. After three years of searching, my blood work came back and we found the culprit…

TO BE CONTINUED…

 

 

 

 

 

 

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