Tag Archives: depression

Chasing a personal butterfly-PART FOUR-It was that simple…


Let the sun shine on me…As I mentioned in PART THREE of Chasing a personal butterfly, I was depressed. At least I was starting to believe that was all it was. I started reading self-help books and eating all the right foods. My body was just exhausted. My muscles were tried. My bones would ache. I knew in my heart I wasn’t depressed but I was on the verge of being convinced, because no doctor could find anything wrong. Did I mention I was having shortness of breath? I was. I appeared to be healthy. (Except the bags under my eyes and looking tired.)


Finally I returned to the doctor for my blood work results. My thyroid check out good. My blood cells also were good. My kidney and liver function too, was good. My iron was low but not drastic. My vitamin D was extremely low. No biggie right? So in my mind I’m thinking I should grab the script for the Anti-Depressant while I was there, because Vitamin D was for bones and teeth, you know, helps your body to absorb calcium. (Which by the way my calcium was good.) Something in my mind made me decide to wait on getting that prescription right now. The foods did seem to help a little and was I really ready to be dependent on ANOTHER medicine to FEEL like my old self again? He told me to go pick up some Vitamin D3 2000IU and take one a day. No biggie I thought, I was already taking a multi-vitamin when I would remember too. Part of me was a little disappointed that nothing was wrong with me physically. Was I imagining all the ach and tired-ness? Was I REALLY not feeling well or was I using it as an excuse? I KNOW THERE IS MORE TO THIS!!! After leaving the doctor’s office I was relieved nothing serious was wrong with me, but dumb founded. There was(seriously)times when I thought I was dying and the doctors just weren’t finding what it was. So I stopped at GNC and got the vitamin D3 and popped one in my mouth. I returned home and sat down on the couch with my lap top in my hand and started researching Vitamin D deficiency signs and symptoms.


Symptoms and Health Risks of Vitamin D Deficiency

Symptoms of bone pain and muscle weakness can mean you have a vitamin D deficiency. However, for many people, the symptoms are subtle. Yet, even without symptoms, too little vitamin D can pose health risks. Low blood levels of the vitamin have been associated with the following:


Okay I can say it was probably part of my problem, but it gets better.

Am I vitamin D deficient?

The best way to discover vitamin D deficiency is to take a blood test that will measure the level of the vitamin in your blood. You can either ask your doctor to administer the test or buy a home test kit do the test yourself. However, you are certainly vitamin D deficient if you have any of the following ailments, and you need to consult with your doctor regarding your preventive, as well as curative, options as soon as possible.

1.) The flu – In a study published in the Cambridge Journals, it was discovered that vitamin D deficiency predisposes children to respiratory diseases. An intervention study conducted showed that vitamin D reduces the incidence of respiratory infections in children.

2.) Muscle weakness – According to Michael F. Holick, a leading vitamin D expert, muscle weakness is usually caused by vitamin D deficiency because for skeletal muscles to function properly, their vitamin D receptors must be sustained by vitamin D.

3.) Psoriasis – In a study published by the UK PubMed central, it was discovered that synthetic vitamin D analogues were found useful in the treatment of psoriasis.

4.) Chronic kidney disease – According to Holick, patients with advanced chronic kidney diseases (especially those requiring dialysis) are unable to make the active form of vitamin D. These individuals need to take 1,25-dihydroxyvitamin D3 or one of its calcemic analogues to support calcium metabolism, decrease the risk of renal bone disease and regulate parathyroid hormone levels.

5.) Diabetes – A study conducted in Finland was featured in Lancet.com in which 10,366 children were given 2000 international units (IU)/day of vitamin D3 per day during their first day of life. The children were monitored for 31 years and in all of them, the risk of type 1 diabetes was reduced by 80 percent.

6.) AsthmaVitamin D may reduce the severity of asthma attacks. Research conducted in Japan revealed that asthma attacks in school children were significantly lowered in those subjects taking a daily vitamin D supplement of 1200 IU a day.

7.) Periodontal disease – Those suffering from this chronic gum disease that causes swelling and bleeding gums should consider raising their vitamin D levels to produce defensins and cathelicidin, compounds that contain microbial properties and lower the number of bacteria in the mouth.

8.) Cardiovascular disease – Congestive heart failure is associated with vitamin D deficiency. Research conducted at Harvard University among nurses found that women with low vitamin D levels (17 ng/m [42 nmol/L]) had a 67 percent increased risk of developing hypertension.

9.) Schizophrenia and Depression – These disorders have been linked to vitamin D deficiency. In a study, it was discovered that maintaining sufficient vitamin D among pregnant women and during childhood was necessary to satisfy the vitamin D receptor in the brain integral for brain development and mental function maintenance in later life.

10.) Cancer – Researchers at Georgetown University Medical Center in Washington DC discovered a connection between high vitamin D intake and reduced risk of breast cancer. These findings, presented at the American Association for Cancer Research, revealed that increased doses of the sunshine vitamin were linked to a 75 percent reduction in overall cancer growth and 50 percent reduction in tumor cases among those already having the disease. Of interest was the capacity of vitamin supplementation to help control the development and growth of breast cancer specially estrogen-sensitive breast cancer.

Learn more:


HOLY COW!! I was opening up a whole world of great info. This was only a few sites. The MEDICAL sites had very vague info. but the NATURALISTS sites had studies done over the years on vitamin D Deficiencies and all the function it does for our body! It isn’t even a vitamin it is a hormone the body NATURALLY produces from sunshine!! They have been scaring us with skin cancer and wearing sun block that 50% of our population is D deficient.


They want you to remain ignorant!

The inescapable truth of the matter is that modern medicine wants people to remain ignorant about the healing effects of vitamin D. The financial survival of the medical industry absolutely depends on it, so the most influential medical organizations systematically downplay the importance of this vitamin while outright refusing to recommend it to patients.

The NCI doesn’t recommend vitamin D, nor does Komen for the Cure. The AHA, AMA, ADA and FDA all refuse to recommend vitamin D, all while strongly promoting synthetic, patented high-profit medications that cure nothing.

There is, in essence, a conspiracy of silence about vitamin D among the sick-care industries that depend on disease to bring them business. And there always will be, of course, because companies are in business to make money, and if you’re in business to make money from disease, you generally don’t go telling people how to heal themselves for free. From a purely profit-minded perspective, teaching people about vitamin D makes absolutely no business sense to the sick care industry. It’s profits over people (as usual).

Learn more:


I am very thankful my doctor respected my wishes of trying to do what I could holistically. I also have been taking the vitamin D for three weeks and I am 150% better than I was. I am absolutely AMAZED!!! And ladies, there is a ton of benefits! Get your dose of vitamin D3. PLEASE read this one, You will not regret it- I PROMISE!




Chasing a personal Butterfly-PART THREE-Submit to depression?


Sunshine on my shoulders looks so lovely…I am back and you guessed it! I’m out in the sun again soaking up sunshine. I will tell you this, TODAY I feel fabulous! That wasn’t always the case. After I went through a detoxify from the aspartame poisoning and slowly trying to regulate my blood pressure holistically, I finally surrendered and went to our local urgent care for blood pressure medicine. (I hate taking pills) I then was put on a low dose of medicine. (later I learned it was an adrenaline blocker. That was when my mental state plummeted. Not only was I extremely tired, but I was sad. Nothing was sparking my interest. I would have, maybe two hours, to get something accomplished before my fatigue would set in. Each day was worse than the next. I was isolating myself from everyone, everything and wanted to nothing but sleep. A simple walk across the room was like running a marathon. My legs were weak and my bones ached. Although these symptoms had no doubt improved after I stopped drinking the diet drinks-they were back and in full force.

I returned to the doctor and explained EVERY feeling I was having. I even said “I think something is wrong with my brain!” I could not stay focused. There also was a few times I miss spell my own name! I would forget simple things. (Like the fact that I was cooking dinner!) Yes I went from being a pretty darn good cook to burning EVERYTHING! I detached from everyone, even my husband and children. Who ever this person was…was not me!!!

That is when the testing began. I was referred to heart specialist. (Same specialist that was watching my heart murmur over the years). I had blood work done and started a new blood pressure medicine. (Two pills now) Both doctors suggested anti-depressants. (REALLY? I’M NOT DEPRESSED! I JUST DON’T FEEL GOOD! IF I FELT GOOD I WOULDN’T appear to BE DEPRESSED!) I denied the tought taking ANTI-DEPRESSANT! I was becoming frustrated. Between being told I was depressed, it was pre-menopause, signs of thyroid and sign of low blood sugar, I wanted to give up. (On everything! I wasn’t suicidal but had no hope left. I would never feel like my old self again.) I will admit the days I drank my lemon water or apple cider were the better days, but getting up the drive to do it was my problem.

Now during this time period I was in the edit process of book three. So worry and panic infiltrated my days at times on top of being tired.  The bags under my eyes were becoming apparent to everyone. There wasn’t a day that went by that someone didn’t say to me “You look tired.” – REALLY? I WAS TIRED!! That is when I started listening to self-hypnosis CD’s. Mentally, this was helping me. The CD’s were helping me find… that the me I knew, was still there. She was waiting for the sun to come out so she could play… But I was starting to  submit to depression as the culprit… I started researching Foods for moods. There is a lot of great info out there. Here are a few…




What I was learning was helping. That is when I knew… I wasn’t going insane, and it was something physical and not mental. The chasing was almost over. After three years of searching, my blood work came back and we found the culprit…








Chasing a personal butterfly-PART TWO- Detox time…


Another day in the sunshine I sit to tell you more of my personal chase. In part one I explained my troubles and struggles with my health and mental stability. All that remained after I stop drinking Diet drinks. I will say this I was feeling a lot healthier but still wasn’t my self. I decided to detox my body from all things that were not natural to my body. Here are a couple of great ways to cleans your insides…




I thought I had finally found what my body was asking for. It was working for many of my issues. Now here is where I am going to get very personal. I suffer from a form of colitis. IBS is part of my life. I have had this for approximately 20 years. Not a day going by that it doesn’t affect me in some way or another. I will say, stopping the Diet Mountain Dew did improve my stomach issues to some extent. Mentally, I was dropping further into a  saddened state. My Diet Mountain Dew was my HAPPY drug. Sounds crazy right? Really it made me feel good, well at least I felt like it did. Drinking the lemon water was cleanings it from my body. The lemon water was also giving me some energy. I have to say the apple cider too was giving me the same affects. It was helping but slowly I was becoming depressed. So my chase was not over…


Chasing a personal Butterfly-PART ONE- Just the beginning…


I started out this morning sitting out in the sunlight soaking up some rays. I have always been a lover of sunshine, so this was a very enjoyable experience to me. Now after two years of searching for this particular butterfly (AS TO WHY I WASN’T QUITE MYSELF) I believe I have finally found THE ANSWER.

It all began with a lot of emotions, I have been unable to completely understand myself. The last 4 years I have been struggling with high blood pressure, feeling of anxiousness, social anxiety, panic attacks, achy bones, and muscles. The list could go on for a while. I honestly thought I was going insane and dying in the process. I know what you are thinking, it sounds like hormones, or premenopausal and just the 40 syndrome(Mid life crises) what ever you want to refer to it as. I even thought I was changing into a hypochondriac! I too was ready to accept it as just an age thing for women. I can remember back at my 40th birthday party everyone telling me(mostly women) that 40 is when ever part of you body starts to hurt and falling apart. I wasn’t falling a part and I was going to refuse to let that happen. Guess what? It some how did.

I would wake up daily asking myself why I wasn’t happy and not feeling right. In my eyes everything was looking up for us. The years before my 40th were tough years but we were on upside of our struggle. Things were getting better, business was picking up, work was coming in, bills were getting paid, food was in the fridge and we were even able to take a vacation from it all. I had written my first book and I was doing everything I always dreamed of doing. But physically, my body kept telling me “You aren’t you any more.” I was fighting that idea daily and it truly was a struggle. I would have these strange episodes of dizziness. Not the kind from spinning around or getting up to fast, these episodes were different. I would be completely still and my eyes felt like they were rolling around in my head. It scared the daylights out of me. Come to find out it really was scaring the “daylights” out of me. I was starting to feel like I was falling farther into a depression of some sort. I was petrified to go anywhere! Again I was going to fight this because this person was not ME!

So my first step was to try to get my blood pressure under control. I first started out with a holistic approach. The right foods and exercise.  My energy levels were extremely low so this was a difficult challenge. At that time I did what I was able too. Caffeine was my best friend!(Which isn’t good for the blood pressure or a holistic approach) Diet Mountain Dew was my drink of choice. I was drinking up to 6 12 Fl Oz a day, just to function through my day. Mind you, I was staying close to home because I was have these social anxiety problems. You would think with that much sugar and caffeine I would have a ridiculously clean house and be ready to take over the world.  Some days yes, but majority of the days, I struggled with the basics. I started researching effects of diet cola’s on the body particularly Diet Mountain Dew. That was when I decided to quite my Diet Mountain Dew addiction. I had all of the symptoms of aspartame poisoning. Heck I had been drinking Diet Cola since I was 14 years old. That is 30 years of poisoning. Quitting drinking Diet drinks with aspartame helped but it wasn’t fixing my problems ( it was only part of my problem.) I advise anyone that drink diet drinks to stop or at least try to drink very little amounts because it can really do damage to your body. Check out the link below.


This was only the beginning of my chase…