Tag Archives: inspiration

Write through Grief-Paralyzed

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Paralyzed
Have you ever watch a horror move? The victim’s response to the monster or villain is either fight, flight, or they freeze. These are the natural human response to the monsters in our lives. These monsters are our hardships, hurdles or just plain and simple, our emotional setbacks. Today, mine is Grief. Throughout my life time, there has been many, and with each one I faced, I responded with one, two or all of these responses.
My word for today is paralyzed. I get this overwhelming pressure of loss when I think of my momma, today marks one month. I feel dread, fear, all the monster in this horror show. Which in turn, I face it, but don’t move. I can’t move. I am like this helpless creature just waiting without acting but allowing the monster to consume me. I’m paralyzed.
My mother’s passing has brought all of the responses in my thoughts. I feel as though I am fighting my way out of pain. So I am in constant search for a strategy to find my way to end this fight. That is where the flight comes into play. I want to run somewhere, to a place that I feel peace in my heart. If not peace but a sense of healing, so here I am again writing.
I have had my altercations with depression and I never want to return to that dark place again because that is not me. Yet right now I feel its ugly face staring me right in the eyes. I’m scared but fight mode isn’t kicking in… Flight process isn’t an option. So I freeze. I cry, get on my knees and pray then get up to write. I miss you Momma!

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Write through Grief

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Write through grief
For years, even as a young girl, I have written letters through struggles or problems that were weighing heavy on my heart. Letters that would contain words I could never say or understand, questions of why I was suffering.

First let me start off with…

My Momma Died. There, I wrote it, it stings, hurts tremendously but it also feels like I released some of my pain…
Those were the first words I wrote after she passed. I was struggling with “being in the moment” with my writing. I had so much to say but couldn’t write it. So I asked myself why?
“MY MOMMA DIED!” Screamed at me. So I wrote it. Was I being too harsh with myself? Probably. BUT on a lighter note, I came up for a breath. I wrote. Let me start by saying my Momma and I made a deal to write together. We even jokingly talked about after she passed we would channel each other and continue to write. I know, sounds crazy, it is just something I believe is possible, because writing for me is a link to something DIVINE.  God? My higher self? The universal realm? A collective conscience?

Who knows, what I do know, it is the truest form of me I know. I’m hurting, that is no doubt a reason to connect and find out how to cope. So here I am COPEING…
I haven’t written in months. This is not me. So I asked myself why? All I could do was answer with positive thought. Example. “You write to inspire.” A voice in my head answered.
Then I say out loud “How can you write Jorja when you have NOTHING inspirational to say. My Momma died!” I screamed at myself again. Brutally honest, I was. In that perfect moment of realization, I knew how I could inspire… so here we go.
I found some writing exercises’ to do, which I didn’t realize I was already using these tools, my family was as well. Here are some techniques to help you heal through your creativity, regardless of your niche.
Crochet’
When my father and mother were in the hospital my niece crocheted blankets for them. She picked colors to match the personalities. The blankets were beautiful. I admired each little hook she made and thought to myself that I could never do that. My Momma passed with that blanket covering her frail body. It comforted her up until her last breath. This was helping my niece heal. (All I had- was words.)

 

Make a picture board.
During the preparation of my Momma’s service my sister’s and my aunt went through dozens of photo albums and buckets of pictures. They made picture board of my beautiful Momma. At her service I realized that I struggled looking at my Momma in these pictures. I was upset with myself because I couldn’t enjoy them, but I saw how it was helping them heal. So I became desperate to find my way to healing and here I am…WRITING (My words)!

 

WRITING-Pick a word for the day
Dig deep into your heart and use one word that describes the feeling you feel. Write it. Here is one of my words (I have been doing a word daily) I am amazed at how many words (feelings) I go through each as powerful as the next.
EXAMPLE
Lost…
I am lost. I can’t put my finger on it but I don’t know which direction I need to go. I can’t focus. These are the times I needed Momma most because regardless of what was happening around me I knew Momma could somehow make it seem that the world wasn’t falling on me. Now that she is gone I feel lost and underneath a pile of rubble. With more being dumped on me daily. Hopelessly lost.
Write a three word phrase
This was the first exercise I did, not even realizing it. “My Momma died.” Here is a tamer version. Describe your three words and why you choose them. Feel them.
EXAMPLE
Feels like home…
Momma always made me feel as if I was home. No matter where we were, sitting in the car in the Wendy’s parking lot eating a cheese burger, because she was too exhausted to go in after her dialysis treatment. Stopping by my house after getting her hair done at the Hair dresser, or even moments driving home after I suffered my first broken heart or first failure. The feeling of home, security, love, warmth a place you long for after life’s demanding of your time. That was my Momma. Her heart loved and loved me more than I think I loved myself. Now she is gone and I feel like I’ve lost my home.

 

Write a letter
This last exercise for today was the hardest one for me, but I received the biggest reward from this exercise. It made the biggest impact on me. I suggest doing this exercise for yourself and it doesn’t have to be to someone who is deceased.
Write a letter to that person. Write feelings, memories, and your perception of life. Remember this doesn’t have to be perfect, edited or even make since it is YOUR letter.
EXAMPLE

Dear Momma,
I think of you often, but not as much as I should. You see, when I think of you, I get this overwhelming pressure in my chest and my heart begins to hurt. I think my heart is breaking Momma, so I try to avoid seeing your beautiful face in my mind…I can’t handle this pain!!
I talk of you often Momma, but not as much as I should. You see when I talk of you, my lips begin to quiver, and the pressure in my head throbs, and then, the tears begin to flow. I try to add something funny that you did, or said, only to help me get through the conversation of you. It must show because most people change the subject of our conversation. It hurts so much Momma…
I am trying to look like I am strong, put together, like you did when Nana died. So I cry when I am alone, because I don’t want the boys to feel my pain. Just like you did Momma.
I am missing you already Momma. I try not to because I know it is going to get harder the longer I go without having you in my life.  I’m missing you so much Momma. I’m not sure I can do this without you. Momma are you there?

Write a response letter from that person. This is the hardest part of the exercise. But this is that link to connecting to them even though they are or aren’t alive. A subconscious connection.

EXAMPLE

Hey Jorja it’s me…
Jorja this is your Momma, I just wanted to let you know honey that the pressure in your chest isn’t your heart breaking. It’s me squeezing all the love I have into your heart, so my love can make you love so much bigger.
Those tears that drip from your eyes, are cleansing the sadness, to make room for the funny stuff, because I am quit fun-loving.
And Jorja Beth, there is no need to look strong, you are strong and put together. You are my daughter aren’t you?
Oh Jorja, the pain the boys feel isn’t yours, it is their own, and they need to see that it’s cleansing their sadness as well honey.
There is absolutely no need to miss me, because when you called out I answered, I’m here. Didn’t I?
You can do this, because I will always be here…
I always liked to think of myself as angel. Remember this, we were going to write? You promised to sit by my grave side and we would write stories together. Let’s get to writing. Write me back so I know you got this.

 

I am adjusting. I am grieving and most importantly I am healing. One day at a time. One word at a time. One exercise at a time. And the biggest part of all of this,                                I am WRITING with my Momma! I love you Momma!

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ALL KINDLE EDITIONS FREE-November 28th #GivingTuesday

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ALL KINDLE EDITIONS FREE-November 28th #GivingTuesday

Tuesday November 28th is my BIRTHDAY!! It is also known as #GivingTuesday. I asked myself what I would want for my BIRTHDAY. I would want NEW READERS to read my books. So I decided and working with my publisher, and AMAZON, we have made it possible to giveaway all my books KINDLE EDITIONS away for FREE!!!

I know I’m NUTS for giving my newest release SISTERLY away-it’s only been out for a month! BUT it’s my BIRTHDAY!!!! Also this will be the first time Chasing Butterflies in the Unseen Universe has ever been available for FREE down load!

You don’t needed a KINDLE to download. You can download on your phone or computer by downloading the APP that Amazon will provide!  Just click on the link below to my AUTHOR page ALL MY BOOKS ARE THERE!

amazon.com/author/jorjao2013.com

PEP TALK THURSDAY

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Floyd Mayweather verses Conor McGregor, we got our money’s worth. Did you get to see that fight? Well, I sure did. My oldest son earlier in the week had ask if we could rent this fight. He wanted to have friends over have some snacks. We decided make it a night for him to hang with his buddies at home. I thought what the heck “teenage boys” home… It was a logical yes. They would be home and not out looking for trouble. So we agreed. The strangest part of it all, is what I got out of this fight…
How many of us that watched the fight woke up from a dream of boxing? Well, I did. This girl right here… I was boxing in my dreams. I was winning too. My opponent was swinging these massive punches at me and at the right moment, I would duck and then jab making direct contact with her jaw. It was very vivid dream. I ducked and jabbed several times not once allowing her to make contact with my face. Yet I felt, if she did make contact, I was okay with it because either way I was going to win.
Sounds like a crazy dream right. Well, as I am ducking and jabbing. I started to notice she, my opponent, was tiring from all the punches she was throwing at me. For a few moments, I began to feel very bad for her. So I stopped ducking, to allow her to get a hit in. She swung and hit me right in the nose. And it was okay that she had hit me. Wow, this was really an adrenaline driven dream. No matter what, I was winning! I felt this in my dream… The really craziest thing is my opponent was me…
So now you know, I learned something about myself, all from watching Mayweather verses McGregor. No matter what I’ll always win the fight. Remember this, when you are in the ring, the toughest opponent is always yourself, and not some unknown fighter.
I know a lot of self-help books say the hardest battle is with the self, or you are your greatest enemy. This is so true, I know this. But there is something about actually watching myself boxing with my opponent (My other self) that made me see, that no matter what, I leave the ring as a winner…

mayweather mcgregor

#FREE #FRIDAY Book one and book two!

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Hey Family Friends and Fans!

To celebrate the release of SISTERLY I am giving Chasing Butterflies in the Magical Garden KINDLE EDITION #FREE on Amazon for the next THREE FRIDAYS!!

To add to the celebration Chasing Butterflies in the Mystical Forest is #FREE today and the next Two FRIDAYS and SATURDAYS!!! You guessed right! BOTH BOOKS WILL BE #FREE! Just click the buy button and it is all yours!

Enjoy this GIFT! And please don’t forget to leave a review! Here is a link to my new release Sisterly…

Share the LOVE!!!

Jorja DuPont Oliva

One year of being a published author!

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So friends, it has been one full year since I became a published author. Chasing Butterflies in the Magical Garden was Published November 30,2013 and my release was December 7. 2013. It was an amazing time for me (Still is but with two books under my belt I feel a bit smarter) I know all books have TYPO’S and I did have some, still do…I wanted to give the book one year and then revise it, get rid of some of them (if not all). 2015 I have plans of doing a revised version of book one Chasing Butterflies in the Magical Garden for all the TYPO Nazi’s I aggravated. (sorry again) I’m even considering changing the cover. (Not sure yet) Big publishing house’s do it all the time. So I asked myself why can’t I do the same! It’s been a year of wonderful adventures, I’ll share some great moments with you.

My first book signing

This was my first books signing. The picture is of me and my publisher/teacher/mentor Michael Ray King. I love this picture because for one -look at my face! And notice my book! It was me, all me, and it was MY perfect-imperfect masterpiece!
 
troops
 
This is and event I became involved in- Authors Supporting the troops- sign copies of various authors sent books over seas to the troops, and I plan to do this again this year with book two. I have to say, when I saw my book, MY perfect-imperfect masterpiece in the a solders hands I felt honored to be a part of the event!
 
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This was two contest that I held to get MY perfect-imperfect masterpiece to be noticed by new readers. Favorite Magical garden photo and Favorite fan picture! That was fun to do with MY perfect-imperfect masterpiece!
 
Change Jar
This was a picture taken at a book store in Flagler Beach-Change Jar Books.  It was a great day, local authors gathered to this event. Change Jar opened at a new location, bigger and better.
 
book two
Last, but not least my second book- Chasing Butterflies in the Mystical Forest-Book signing. Another great chapter in my life. Wow, how I’ve grown. MY perfect-imperfect masterpiece was there beside me on all of the journeys.
 
MY perfect-imperfect masterpiece…It was me, the true me(TYPO’S and all). My point is that we (as humans) tend to seek out perfection or what society considers to be perfect. (Face it, no one or nothing is perfect) Nothing is wrong with seeking to make something better, but do it for you-not because it is expected. For years I struggled with trying to please everyone and be perfect(or at least appear to be),but in side I was still the prefect-imperfect person. One day I woke up and realized I was only an actress,  being what society wanted me to be. Right now I’m cleaning up some of the TYPO’s that seeped through the cracks of the publishing world (yeah they were my fault) and it saddens me a bit. Why? Here it is -MY perfect-imperfect masterpiece-Chasing Butterflies in the Magical Garden FIRST EDITION- that is me, the true ME. Then I ask myself…(Is this how caterpillars feel before they cocoon and change into butterflies?) So I’m taking a moment to reflect on the year, and embrace my perfect- imperfections (Which I think are perfect by the way) then I plan to move forward. Did you know I only type 10 words a minute?-No joke…I can’t spell very well either and I only averaged C’s in English through my school years. In college I avoided the English classes until the very end. (Mind you I am improving daily and plan to keep improving. Not to conform to society or others, but to better my perfect-imperfections.)
 
perfection  
 
Revised Version of Chasing Butterflies in the Magical Garden will be out 2015.
Thank you to everyone that has supported me and journeyed along with me. Remember to embrace and love your perfect-imperfections because they are who you are. They fertilize your growth and feed your soul to help you become the best that you can be.

99 CENTS-Chasing Butterflies in the Magical Garden

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99 CENTS-Chasing Butterflies in the Magical Garden

If you missed out on the FREE kindle edition…good news AMAZON will have it for $.99 until the end of the year! This is book one in the Chasing Butterflies Series. Book two will be coming out this OCTOBER. Hope you have a great day and enjoy the read! You can get to AMAZON right from this site just click the link.>>>>>>>>>follow>>>>>>the arrows>>>>

Check out my fan club!

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 I will say, this is a start to a wonderful future! I always said, an animals instinct is always right!

Chasing Butterflies in the Magical Forest- Book two in the Chasing Butterflies series is 40% finished!!!!

You give so much.-POEM

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As Darkness wraps around me, I embrace it. Only to have you once more, in the crisp morning dawn. You snuggle your sweet warmth, into my soul. You cool my heat, and dry my sweat. You give me passion, for words. You give fragrance, to spark a memory. You give changing of temperature, to harvest […]