Have you ever watch a horror move? The victim’s response to the monster or villain is either fight, flight, or they freeze. These are the natural human response to the monsters in our lives. These monsters are our hardships, hurdles or just plain and simple, our emotional setbacks. Today, mine is Grief. Throughout my life time, there has been many, and with each one I faced, I responded with one, two or all of these responses.
My word for today is paralyzed. I get this overwhelming pressure of loss when I think of my momma, today marks one month. I feel dread, fear, all the monster in this horror show. Which in turn, I face it, but don’t move. I can’t move. I am like this helpless creature just waiting without acting but allowing the monster to consume me. I’m paralyzed.
My mother’s passing has brought all of the responses in my thoughts. I feel as though I am fighting my way out of pain. So I am in constant search for a strategy to find my way to end this fight. That is where the flight comes into play. I want to run somewhere, to a place that I feel peace in my heart. If not peace but a sense of healing, so here I am again writing.
I have had my altercations with depression and I never want to return to that dark place again because that is not me. Yet right now I feel its ugly face staring me right in the eyes. I’m scared but fight mode isn’t kicking in… Flight process isn’t an option. So I freeze. I cry, get on my knees and pray then get up to write. I miss you Momma!
Floyd Mayweather verses Conor McGregor, we got our money’s worth. Did you get to see that fight? Well, I sure did. My oldest son earlier in the week had ask if we could rent this fight. He wanted to have friends over have some snacks. We decided make it a night for him to hang with his buddies at home. I thought what the heck “teenage boys” home… It was a logical yes. They would be home and not out looking for trouble. So we agreed. The strangest part of it all, is what I got out of this fight…
How many of us that watched the fight woke up from a dream of boxing? Well, I did. This girl right here… I was boxing in my dreams. I was winning too. My opponent was swinging these massive punches at me and at the right moment, I would duck and then jab making direct contact with her jaw. It was very vivid dream. I ducked and jabbed several times not once allowing her to make contact with my face. Yet I felt, if she did make contact, I was okay with it because either way I was going to win.
Sounds like a crazy dream right. Well, as I am ducking and jabbing. I started to notice she, my opponent, was tiring from all the punches she was throwing at me. For a few moments, I began to feel very bad for her. So I stopped ducking, to allow her to get a hit in. She swung and hit me right in the nose. And it was okay that she had hit me. Wow, this was really an adrenaline driven dream. No matter what, I was winning! I felt this in my dream… The really craziest thing is my opponent was me…
So now you know, I learned something about myself, all from watching Mayweather verses McGregor. No matter what I’ll always win the fight. Remember this, when you are in the ring, the toughest opponent is always yourself, and not some unknown fighter.
I know a lot of self-help books say the hardest battle is with the self, or you are your greatest enemy. This is so true, I know this. But there is something about actually watching myself boxing with my opponent (My other self) that made me see, that no matter what, I leave the ring as a winner…
To a perfect town where nothing changes, not-so-perfect Janie returns. Determined to make amends with her sister, Brea, Janie finally reveals the hidden reason she left thirty years ago to her first love, Dillon, who is now married to Brea. To add to the chaos, Janie rents a room from a mysterious old black woman only to find unusual guests and a fenced-in backyard that is strictly off limits—with a supernatural legend attached to it. Struggling to make things right while questioning her own sanity, Janie realizes the unbreakable bond with her sister remains and those on the other side of the fence hold the secrets.
Hi Family, friends and fans!
I set out learning how to self-publish with Sisterly, which took me a little longer to get her out for you to enjoy. I’m only days away from her release on Amazon! Kindle edition will be available first, and paperback will follow. I wanted to give you a peek at the cover.
I’m very excited to have another book for your entertainment! This was a bit different from the Chasing Butterflies Series. It is my first Psychological/ Paranormal/ Thriller. I have always loved a good ghost story that would keep me guessing and now I have created one of my own… Watch for all the links I’ll be sharing so you can get your copy!
This coming Tuesday January 24th at 3:00PM I’ll be doing a spot light interview for our very own Flagler Beach Library Local author event, which will be held on Saturday January 28th. You can tune in by radio or online! flaglerbeachradio.com
I want to invite you to a release party!
I wrote a short story for Flagler Anthology
A NIGHT LIKE THIS…
Oceans of Change By Jorja DuPont Oliva
All proceeds go to Christmas Come True!
I am off on an adventure! I am heading to Texas. My niece is getting married and you guessed it I AM GOING!!! I need your help to spread the word about Chasing Butterflies In The Magical Garden it will be FREE to download Saturday April 23 and Sunday April 24 on AMAZON. Here is the Link!
Please help me spread the word! I’ll be busy attending a wedding and visiting with family and friends!
Thank you in advance!
Jorja DuPont Oliva
Sunshine on my shoulders looks so lovely…I am back and you guessed it! I’m out in the sun again soaking up sunshine. I will tell you this, TODAY I feel fabulous! That wasn’t always the case. After I went through a detoxify from the aspartame poisoning and slowly trying to regulate my blood pressure holistically, I finally surrendered and went to our local urgent care for blood pressure medicine. (I hate taking pills) I then was put on a low dose of medicine. (later I learned it was an adrenaline blocker. That was when my mental state plummeted. Not only was I extremely tired, but I was sad. Nothing was sparking my interest. I would have, maybe two hours, to get something accomplished before my fatigue would set in. Each day was worse than the next. I was isolating myself from everyone, everything and wanted to nothing but sleep. A simple walk across the room was like running a marathon. My legs were weak and my bones ached. Although these symptoms had no doubt improved after I stopped drinking the diet drinks-they were back and in full force.
I returned to the doctor and explained EVERY feeling I was having. I even said “I think something is wrong with my brain!” I could not stay focused. There also was a few times I miss spell my own name! I would forget simple things. (Like the fact that I was cooking dinner!) Yes I went from being a pretty darn good cook to burning EVERYTHING! I detached from everyone, even my husband and children. Who ever this person was…was not me!!!
That is when the testing began. I was referred to heart specialist. (Same specialist that was watching my heart murmur over the years). I had blood work done and started a new blood pressure medicine. (Two pills now) Both doctors suggested anti-depressants. (REALLY? I’M NOT DEPRESSED! I JUST DON’T FEEL GOOD! IF I FELT GOOD I WOULDN’T appear to BE DEPRESSED!) I denied the tought taking ANTI-DEPRESSANT! I was becoming frustrated. Between being told I was depressed, it was pre-menopause, signs of thyroid and sign of low blood sugar, I wanted to give up. (On everything! I wasn’t suicidal but had no hope left. I would never feel like my old self again.) I will admit the days I drank my lemon water or apple cider were the better days, but getting up the drive to do it was my problem.
Now during this time period I was in the edit process of book three. So worry and panic infiltrated my days at times on top of being tired. The bags under my eyes were becoming apparent to everyone. There wasn’t a day that went by that someone didn’t say to me “You look tired.” – REALLY? I WAS TIRED!! That is when I started listening to self-hypnosis CD’s. Mentally, this was helping me. The CD’s were helping me find… that the me I knew, was still there. She was waiting for the sun to come out so she could play… But I was starting to submit to depression as the culprit… I started researching Foods for moods. There is a lot of great info out there. Here are a few…
What I was learning was helping. That is when I knew… I wasn’t going insane, and it was something physical and not mental. The chasing was almost over. After three years of searching, my blood work came back and we found the culprit…
TO BE CONTINUED…
Book two Chasing Butterflies in the Mystical Forest (KINDLE EDITION) will be FREE on Amazon.com DECEMBER 5 this Saturday! To download just click the link below.